There it is. A memory of single life, sneaking up on me when I least expect it.
It isn’t a specific memory – mostly just a feeling, really. Strange but familiar, and not unwelcome. Sometimes I think I need these moments.
Justin was sick today. Well, he was sick last night, and then all day today, and still now. And not in the funny, oh, haha isn’t it cute how men can’t handle a little illness way (for the record, if anyone ever suffers from overdramatic man flu around here it’s me), but in the OH MY GOD SO MUCH VOMIT DO YOU HAVE A STIFF NECK BECAUSE MAYBE IT’S MENINGITIS kind of way*.
As a sympathy vomiter, I’m not so good with that (plus he shaved his head the other day so there wasn’t any hair for me to hold back anyway, except for his beard hair which would have been awkward) but I was happy to venture out with the small one this afternoon on a ginger ale- and chicken noodle soup-finding mission (which may or may not also have involved McDonalds).
Is it horrible that I’m hoping it’s food poisoning and therefore not contagious? I don’t want to get the stomach flu and also have to parent a fluey baby.
Given that my lofty goal to make butternut squash lasagna has been tabled pending a more enthusiastic audience, I decided to do the adult thing and have leftover quinoa-stuffed sweet potatoes for dinner. That idea swiftly went out the window in favour of a bag of barbecue chips that was calling my name, followed closely by a package of Glosette raisins. And then some wine, once the small one and the big one were both safely tucked in. Justin had the brilliant idea that I should bring said wine to bed with my laptop so we could Netflix a movie together, and then he promptly fell asleep while I scrolled through the options.
Then all of a sudden it was just Lily and me. On a Saturday night, with wine and movies, after a wholly unrespectable dinner, just like old times. A flicker of a memory. A nice reminder, in a way, that nothing’s really changed except everything.
And here I sit. In the quiet.
*Before my in-laws start frantically calling (hi guys!), I should clarify that I’m exaggerating slightly and he is not currently dying of meningitis, but my point is he’s quite ill.