Template for bloggers who haven’t posted in a while

Template for bloggers who have fallen behind on posting

[Insert catchy title here]

[Open with cheerful greeting to long-neglected readers]

[Acknowledge shameful infrequency of posting]

[Apologize to aforementioned readers, and promise to try harder/do better/post more frequently, lest this blog become solely about meal planning, which you really only started doing as filler but now it’s the only thing keeping you posting semi-reliably]

[Sheepishly explain this latest dearth of posts:]

[Insert Excuse 1 here]

[Insert Excuse 2 here]

[Insert Excuse 3 here*]

[Insert Excuse 4 here … no, wait, scrap Excuse 4 because although it is pithily hilarious and possibly even legitimate, odd-numbered lists (particularly when that number is three) are far more effective]

[Consider posting recycled content you have previously shared elsewhere, despite the fact that followers most likely already read it when first published]

[Elect to hold off on posting said recycled content until more desperate times, or at least until tomorrow]

[Once again, offer profuse apologies and vow that recent radio silence will soon be at an end**]

[Profess undying appreciation of, and devotion to, those readers who’ve stuck with you thus far]

[In a bizarre and potentially misguided attempt to quell the masses, include adorable baby photo because everyone loves adorable photos, right? Right.]

[Insert witty caption; potentially one of the following:]
[Insert witty caption; potentially one of the following:]

[1. All the teething rings, and she’d rather chew on the freezer drawer handle. Naturally.]
[2. Currently sporting Kate Gosselin’s hairstyle, circa 2006.]
[3. A true gastronome, this one.]

[From the above options, choose whichever one you think makes you sound the coolest.]

[Close with charming and quirky sign-off, ending in an exclamation point!]

* Veracity is optional in the case of Excuse 3; that being said, if it is truthful, embellishment is permissible (and even encouraged), particularly if said excuse is baby-related.

** As with Excuse 3, this promise (however well-intentioned) may or may not be true.

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