11 ways my baby is exactly like Donald Trump

Image credit: DodgertonSkillhause | morguefile

For those of you who are still unaware, I’m Canadian. If this comes as a shock to you … well, you probably haven’t been reading my blog, because if you had, you’d have noticed that I use the letter U with reckless abandon, plus I talk about living in Canada a lot. If you have been reading but you still didn’t know … well, I’m sorry (see? Canadian!) but you really should pay more attention.

Anyway, this means I’ll be sharing a country with any of you who make good on your threats to move here if Trump wins the election — so, welcome!*

I’m very sorry to have to break this to you, but it’s recently come to my attention that we have a Donald Trump here in Canada too.

Let’s talk about my baby for a second.

My baby is exactly like Donald Trump. Seriously, she’s pretty much a dead ringer for the guy. Let me count the ways:

  1. She has sparse, questionably-styled hair. 

    Image source: Giphy
  2. She loves herself, like, a lot.
    Image source: Giphy
    Image source: this is my actual baby. JUST KIDDING IT’S FROM GIPHY AGAIN! Gotcha.

    She never met a mirror she didn’t like.

  3. She makes this face fairly often:
    Image source: Giphy

    I think she likes the feeling of her breath against her top lip.

  4. She yells frequently and for no reason.

    Image source: Giphy
  5. She wants all the things, and expects me to pay for them.

    Image source: Giphy
  6. She believes her abilities extend far beyond what she’s actually qualified to do.

    Image source: Giphy
  7. She doesn’t trust outsiders.
    Image source: Giphy

    Just a wee Trump, makin’ strange.

  8. She loves the ladies.
    Image source: Giphy

    And by “the ladies,” I mean boobs.

  9. She vehemently opposes a woman’s right to choose
    Image source: Giphy

    No sleep for you, mum.

  10. Two words: tiny hands.

    Image source: Giphy
  11. She got most of what she has from her daddy.

    Image source: Giphy

So move to Canada if you will, but you’ve been warned.

Now that I’ve officially burst your bubble, I’ll leave you with this small silver lining:

Image source: Giphy

She’s very advanced.

*Reality check: in my real, non-internetty life, I actually have some expertise in the field of immigration, so I feel compelled to inform you it actually isn’t that easy to just move to Canada — sorry! (see? Canaaaadian!)

4 Comment

  1. Shona says: Reply

    I’m sorry, but that was hilarious. I don’t get on-line as often as I’d like, but when I do, I read your blog and vote for you at the best Mom blogger (although I’d normally spell it Mum – more British than Canadian, eh).

    1. Jean says: Reply

      Hey, thanks Shona! I spell it Mum, too, since that’s how I tend to pronounce it.

  2. This post is hilarious. It made me laugh several times. If your baby is really like Trump, then you are going to have an amazing baby 😉

    1. Jean says: Reply

      Well, with two extremely tall parents, at the very least, she’ll be YOOGE!

      Thanks for reading, Tina — I’m so glad you enjoyed the post 🙂

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