We’ve been having a lot of those days lately.
You know those days? The ones you never thought you’d have — not in your relationship, which is exciting and stable and passionate and loving — but then you got married and had kids and jobs and dinners to make and litter boxes to clean and just everything? Those days when everything happens in a rush — up at 6, breakfast, daycare drop-off, a marathon of meetings, an inbox that refuses to let you leave work on time, then a mad dash to get home, eat dinner, and get the kiddo to bed. Then 8pm rolls around and you realize you forgot to kiss one another good morning?
Sometimes when you have those days, you just want to snuggle up together on the couch with some ice cream and Netflix, and reminisce about the times when you never thought you’d have those days.
But sometimes, all you want to do is hurl a mothereffing axe at a wall.
That dream was realized for us a few days ago. We threw axes! And we did not die. It was an epic date night.
Okay, I’m as surprised as you are that someone let me throw an axe. But you guys, it was amazing and mostly (okay, actually completely, but that doesn’t sound as badass) safe. And let me just reiterate: we did not die.
A little context: Now that I’m a big-time famous blogger (hah), people sometimes invite me to things, which is pretty cool. Sometimes I have to say no, because the things are happening while I’m at work, or they’re things I don’t like (Snakes & Mushrooms R Us*), or I don’t have time to go, or write a review, or whatever. And sometimes I have to say yes because AXE THROWING, you guys.
Anyway, Bad Axe Throwing emailed me an invitation to try out their new location in Surrey. They also told me to bring my coolest friend. But the cat wasn’t available and also lacks opposable thumbs, so I invited Justin. Actually, he kind of invited himself. The conversation went a little like this:
Me: Hey, Bad Axe Throwing invited me to come throw axes with my coolest friend. I was thinking of taking Miche–
Justin: So when are we going?
Me: Oh, of course we are going. Yes … I was going to invite you. Did I say Michelle? I meant you, my husband and coolest friend. Justin. Justin Hamilton.
(Lily was also there.)
So on Thursday evening my parents came to watch the small one and Justin and I headed out to throw sharp objects around. We arrived at the centre and met our instructor, Tim, who also goes by Thor (and also throws hammers, but not at the axe place). Tim has a ginger beard and likes to be loud, which is exactly what you want for axe throwing.
Tim: I like to be LOOOOOOUD!
Me: I like to be quiet.
Tim was awesome.
After we signed our waivers (because axes), Tim showed us how to throw an axe without chopping off an appendage. He was an excellent teacher and gave helpful feedback on our technique. Justin, of course, was a natural. I was … not. I was terrified of the axes, because axes. This made it tough to throw properly. Tim assured me he’d have me sinking axes into the wooden targets within half an hour. I wasn’t born yesterday, so I didn’t believe him for a second.
But you guys … he was right.
And it was sooooo cool! We learned how to throw two-handed, one-handed, and we even learned how to throw TWO AXES AT ONCE. And then we played games! Which Justin won, because he’s Justin and he’s good at everything**.
We stayed for nearly three hours just hucking axes over and over, and it didn’t even get boring. Seriously, it felt like we were there for less than an hour. This may have been related to the fact that I was CONSUMED WITH WHITE-HOT RAGE because Justin kept beating me at all the games.
Tim: I’m sensing a lot more anger in your throws, Jean. I like it.
Bad Axe Throwing has locations across Canada, and this is their first one in BC. They’re currently open for group bookings only (minimum 8 people)***, but eventually they might start offering drop-ins and maybe even get a league going. I hope this happens because I know a certain husband who would love to join an axe-throwing league, and also a certain me who’d love to drop in after a tough day at the office.
Or we could go together again. You know, on one of those days.
Bad Axe Throwing is at 109-8132 130th St in Surrey, BC. You can find more information and booking details at www.badaxethrowing.com. Wear closed-toed shoes, because axes. Oh and bring snacks and drinks. I wish we’d done that because I was very thirsty after all the throwing. And you can bring cans of beer. But don’t drink too much, because AXES.
*Snakes & Mushrooms R Us is not a real company. And should never, ever be a real company. Don’t ever start a company called Snakes & Mushrooms R Us because it is a horrible idea made of pure evil and we couldn’t be friends anymore.
**Except cribbage and kaiser. I’m much better than he is at both of those. SUCK IT, HAMILTON.
***I think this would be an awesome wedding venue. Tim wasn’t sure anyone would want that so now we have to prove him wrong. If you’re reading this and currently planning a wedding, please consider Bad Axe Throwing in Surrey. Thank you.
DISCLOSURE: Bad Axe Throwing invited me and a guest to throw axes, free of charge, in exchange for my honest review of the experience. All opinions in this post are my own, because they’re the only ones I have.