Welcome to Conversations with Justin, where I recap … conversations with my husband, Justin. I originally intended this to be a regular feature, but let’s face it, it’s been 10 months since I posted the first one, so.
Really, though, you should be grateful because this probably means our conversations haven’t been entertaining enough to post so I’ve been sparing you from having to read them.
Conversation #2: in which I contemplate tandem breastfeeding and also crack myself up with ridiculous puns involving my boobs.
SCENE: Nighttime. We’re lying in bed, discussing the small one’s nursing habits — because yes, she is still nursing on occasion. Every time I think she’s finally over it because she hasn’t asked in weeks, she comes out with a “boob, pleeeease?” complete with simpering head tilt. And I’ve kept nursing her (even though I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in there at this point) because I’m 79 weeks pregnant, exhausted, and super cranky, so I’m not about to add a toddler tantrum to the mix.
This conversation took place a while ago, obviously, because this happened and now I’m no longer pregnant … but I’m behind, as per usual.
Me: Sheesh*, I think I’m going to have to start reading up on tandem breastfeeding. The small one isn’t losing interest and I’m sure she’ll be all about it when the baby comes and she sees her nursing …
Justin: You probably just need to make sure the baby eats first before you let the small one jump on.
Me: “Jump on?” That makes me sound like a carnival ride.
Justin: … kind of, I guess …
Me *snickering*: Like a mammary-go-round. Or a Tit-A-Whirl!
Me: Or … SPLASH MOUNTAINS! *dies laughing*
*** 5 minutes later ***
Me: Now I can’t sleep because I’m still trying to come up with amusement park ride names for my boobs.
Justin: Go to sleep. I think you peaked at “Splash Mountains” anyway.
Upshot: No one thinks I’m as funny as I do. It’s a shame, really.
Also, if you have any more puns to add to the above, please share them in the comments! I need more.
* Yes, I actually say “sheesh” in real life. Do people even say “sheesh” anymore? I’m old-timey.